WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE
Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already
given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.
No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'.
Few years ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to
phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of
lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost
you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN!
Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in
Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'.
FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAX PAYER YOU KNOW!
This may lead to me being sent to prison, but it is a perception I cannot discount. The net is full of such clear thoughts.
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