Education,edificacion,edukashun

The New Republic of South Moss Side Examinations

Ethnic Examination Authority

MATHEMATICS PAPER 1

Time allowed: Negotiable.

OCTOBER 2008

Examination Instructions

1. Please, write all answers between the lines.

2. No part of this examination paper may be rolled and smoked.

3. No children of students are allowed to participate.

4. Please leave all firearms in possession of community patrol officers.

5. Bribes will be accepted at a minimum of E300.00

6. If this exam does not match the one that you bought in Advance please notify the examiner.

7. The shibeen/offie will be open for thirst quenchers during the examination.

QUESTION 1

Philemon has an AK47 with 2 magazines taped together, each holding 75 rounds. If he misses 8 out of 10 shots, how many drive-by taxi shootings can he attempt before having to reload?

QUESTION 2

Phineas has a 12-seater minibus. To avoid discomfort he never carries more than 23 people. Assuming each passenger weighs 85 kg, and piles another 35 kg of luggage on the roof, he drives at 140 km/h and that his brakes are 25% efficient, what would his stopping distance be?

a) 300 m

b) 600 m

c) 10 m, as there is another passenger to pick up.

QUESTION 3

Jacob is employed as a gardener for 1 day a week in 3 Households. Assuming that he can make a lawnmower last for 3 months, how many lawnmowers will the households have to purchase over a period of 2 years?

QUESTION 4

In standard 6, Jackson has made 4 girls in his class pregnant and another 6 from other classes. How many girls will he have made pregnant before he leaves school if he Matriculates on his 28th birthday?

QUESTION 5

Samuel and his friends, altogether 6 of them, can each drink 35 bottles per day of Red Label before falling over. How many Brewery trucks do they need to hijack per year to remain permanently pissed? __________________________________________________________

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Next years examination papers issued by a Local Authority, set under supervision of Cremlin Independent Corp, Labor HQ.