Irish female driver

Mrs Paddy is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so
she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that
she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself.

She returns outside and begins to jemmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the
attendant comes out to see how Mrs Paddy is faring.

Outside the car Mrs Paddy is moving the hanger around and around while Mrs Mick inside the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the right!..."

Political Correctness

Health Warning

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat
canned pork because of swine flu - ignore it.

It's just spam! :-)

Whole Whale experience

The waiters are Mr Hari and Mr Kiri

The Surprised Drunk

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears he has already had plenty to drink and that he could not be served additional liquor. The bartender offers to call a cab for him.

The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down from the bar stool and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and - still politely if not more firmly - refuses service to the man and again offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar! . He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is drunk and will be served no drinks. He then tells him that he can either call a cab or the police immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish cries, "Man! How many bars do you work at?"


No!!! I was not that drunk... I get drunker then that :-)

Real advertising

Laws of American Football

Are you the HOOKER????

Sucks sess??

If you'd have singed for Arsenal....

All the Queen's Men

Carlsburg supermodel

Rangers dressing room

Picture the scene.

The Rangers dressing room before the old firm game and the players are about to get their team talk.

"Right lads I want 110% commitment from the word go against these bastards. Remember they are all f#ckin fenians and are full of tattie-munching bogtrotters from the Emerald Isle.

I don't care if u kick, punch or headbutt your way to victory. Good luck and God save the Queen".

Then Walter Smith walks in and says "Thanks ref, I'll take it from here".

Ross Kemps News Team with 45 Commando

A children's fairy tale