Out of the mouths of...

I was in a pet shop last week when I noticed a Muslim with the most amazingly coloured parrot perched on his shoulder… "Where did you get that from?" I asked, Christmas Island,Australia,!!! there's f’kin thousands of them!"--said the Parrot…!!

Horsing around

Tesco are giving treble points on your Clubcard for all burgers and petrol, starting today. 

The deal’s called Only Fuel and Horses.