Phone God

An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Leeds taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Bradford. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Leeds and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then travelled to York, Rotherham, Sheffield, Dewsbury, and Pickering.
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Yorkshire decided to travel up to Lancashire to see if Lancastrians had the same phone.
He arrived in Darwin, and again in the first church he entered there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over Yorkshire and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Yorkshire the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'

The priest smiled and answered, 'you’re in Lancashire now, son ... it's a local call.'

Ancient abusive

An old couple come out of a shop to see a traffic warden writing a ticket. "What the fuck are you doing?" says the old man.

"Just doing my job, sir," he replies.

"You dirty fucker," shouts the old woman.

"I’m afraid you’re getting another ticket for your abuse," he says.

"Fucking monkey knob," shouts the old man.

"Right, sir, I am having this vehicle clamped and taken away." He phones for the tow truck and the car is taken away.

"Well Jessie," says the man, "before we get the bus home lets see if we can find any more cars with Man U stickers in the windows."

Sign this petition, now

clipped from www.petition.fm Common Sense Mayor - Fighting PC THE LATEST VICTIM OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS? The Mayor of Doncaster is being subjected to an investigation to answer an outrageous charge that his plans to eradicate political correctness would incite hatred.   It is likely that this complaint (which has already cost taxpayers in Doncaster many thousands of pounds) will be escalated still further and will interfere with his democratically elected mandate to tackle political correctness. 80% of the people of Britain (in an ICM poll commissioned by the Campaign Against Political Correctness) are fed up with political correctness and this figure is consistent regardless of age, sex, ethnicity, geographical location etc.  We urge all those who want to see an end to political correctness - which is intolerant, bureaucratic and expensive - to support the Mayor in his fight for a return to common sense and sign this petition now.