Frank Feldman

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just Like Frank.'
Passenger: 'Who?'
Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'
Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'
Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'
Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer, could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.'
Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'
Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'
Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'
Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his f*cking widow.'
With thanks of a friendlier man.

Murder an Englishman and little happens.

clipped from fylde-bootnecks.blogspot.com The unwanted vision of hatred The plot thickens.

In the tiny mill town, disputed for centuries between Lancashire and Yorkshire, the most heinous of crimes took place to the rancorous silence of the British Press. A gang of immigrants stalked an indigenous man, killed him and had their crime compounded by a judiciary that has lost any vestige of English Justice.
This small town, where I was measure for and purchased my first ever Best Suit, has witnessed the most appalling travesty of justice for many years.
What will be done? Nothing.
This crime of hatred can only be a hate crime if it is perpetrated by the indigenous person against an immigrant, or so it now seems. These cold blooded killers should be joining the ranks of the martyrs and dispatched to their Heaven at the quickest possible moment, before they get more brazened and strap on body bombs and slaughter more people.

Mars spectacular pictures

First Kiss?

It's your first kiss and several questions might come to mind:
Is it the right time?
Is anyone watching?
Does your partner even want to?
Is your breath fresh?

AND --------

Should you use some tongue?
Then you say to yourself ---------
'What the heck!' and so you just go for it!!!

Soldier refused room

clipped from www.telegraph.co.uk Soldier refused room at hotel Cpl Tomos Stringer, from Gwynedd, north-west Wales, was turned away from the Metro Hotel in Woking, Surrey. He had travelled to the area to help with preparations for the funeral of a friend killed in action and needed to stay over night. After showing his army pass when asked for identification by the hotel's receptionist, Cpl Stringer was told "we don't accept military personnel here" and that this was "company policy", according to his mother Gaynor. He spent the night in his car after failing to find any other available accomodation late on a Sunday evening, she said.

They say there is no such thing as bad publicity. Let us hope this is wrong. Having watched two serving bootnecks dodge the issue, here is a former bootneck who is a little irate at these political niceties. The directors, management and staff should be publicly humiliated as this soldier was. A weekend in the stocks is too good for them.
Where not to stay.
Metro Hotel
Tel: 01483 727100
Fax: 01483 725064
Crown Square
Woking
Surrey
GU21 6HR